Unwrapping Udon
by Orangeman727
Summary: A take on the possibility of what the once snot-nosed Udon becomes as he grows older and more comfortable in his role as a mass murderer, soldier, and assassin. Should killers like their job?
1. Finding the Wrapper

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters except the original ones I create.

Hello all,

I am Orangeman727 and am proud to present my first fanfiction story. Having read hundreds (if not thousands) of stories over the past six years or so, I thought I would try my hand at writing one. I plan to spin out about one chapter a week, though it will only be around 800-900 words. I'm still getting used to writing and, just to warn readers, I did not plot out this whole story. We'll take it one chapter at a time and see where it goes from there. I hope you enjoy.

**Warning**: This story is rated M for mature, and contains violence, along with character death. Read at your own risk.

Character talking: "Hello."

Character thinking: _Hello_.

**Unwrapping Udon**

While the stars twinkled silently overhead, Udon, a recently promoted chuunin, and his squad of three quickly leapt from tree to tree en route to their objective. They avoided the roads, and used chakra (a mix of spiritual and physical energy) to allow their limbs the ability to stick to the large, almost unnaturally big trees. Stealth was critical, for with each step they cut deeper into the hostile territory of the shinobi village Iwagakure.

Their mission was simple: locate and eliminate a traveling merchant, Takahashi Konji, who had been discovered selling tactical information about Konoha's defenses to Iwa. It was only uncovered due to the hard work of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation department. Ms. Mitarashi and her talented new assistant, Yamanaka Ino, are apparently extremely effective, Udon mused. He took a moment to check his gear.

Like any shinobi or aspiring assasin, his squad was armed with the best that their government could afford. How Konoha's weapons were so expertly crafted was a well-guarded secret that the Higurashi clan kept to themselves. Back to the gear check: Their kunai knives were hidden subtly in the many pockets of their light yet camouflaging gear, which was built lightweight yet sturdy to provide the optimal combination of protection and mobility. Udon and his two companions had slowly and painstakingly smeared every inch of visible skin in a layer of mud. If they were caught here, no one would come to save them. Not their shinobi village, Konohagakure, nor any of the samurai from their Daimyo's legions.

_We're on our own._

An assortment of weapons and tools, including tripwire and exploding tags, was gathered in the hours of preparation before the mission started. No potential advantage was ignored. Arriving quietly at a large manor, the team proceeded to scout.

Ito Fumi, the team's loudmouth, was unusually quiet as she began her scouting mission alongside the west perimeter. She was tapping her spiked steel knuckles on her right hand anxiously with her left. This was her first assassination oriented mission as a chuunin, and her nerves swayed back and forth like a fragile tree's branches in the wind. She glanced back at where Udon was still standing with her other teammate, Kazuo.

Just after Fumi continued scouting, Saito Kazuo, a tall and lanky teenager with a wiry frame that defied his strength, disappeared to the left. In his mouth he chewed on a toothpick, with two short katanas strapped to his back. His relaxed posture throughout the trek to their target had assured his two less experienced squad mates of the success of their mission. The team had heard vague reports that Takahashi had some sort of former shinobi as a bodyguard. He was not worried, anyhow. This was just another extermination of a rat. Takahashi might be a rich rat, but he was a rat nonetheless.

Udon sat in contemplation, still at the spot his teammates had left him. Attempting to distancing himself from the bowl cut of his days when he hung around Moegi and Konohamaru, the fifteen-year old had let his hair grow. It still hung down straight, but was now shoulder length, almost making him look like a hippie enthusiast, not that there were hippies in his world. Although there was no official leader of their team, Fumi and Kazuo had began to look to him as a sort of tactician. While not exemplary in a specific shinobi field, he was in utilizing the basics to the fullest.

He was no longer the snot-nosed ten-year old who had praised Naruto as his "boss." Why would he? Naruto never taught him anything. The only reason Udon had even called him boss was because of Konohamaru's influence. Why had he even listened to Konohamaru? They were all snot-nosed brats at that time, anyway.

With a sigh, he snapped back to his surroundings. There was the manor in the forest, just as their contact had said. It was only a single story, but it spread out over a large area. From where he was, he could make out two guards at the front gate. He checked the time.

That should be enough time for them both to have gotten into position, he mused. He began a sequence of handseals, and then shot a fireball directly above the manor. When he heard the distant sounds of his teammates initiating their parts of the plan, he leapt off his perch in the tree and began doing his. One by one, he set up traps along the perimeter of the path leading away from the main gate.

After Udon's traps were set, he checked the time again. He grumbled to himself.

_The target is late. Why can't all traitors be on time?_

His thoughts were put on the back burner as he spotted Takahashi and his guards making their way towards the main entrance.

_Well_, Udon mused, _Takahashi gets points for being predictable_. Udon focused on the guards, who were intermingled with the various bandits the fat merchant had hired as protection. Takahashi's face had almost completely turned red, and he was struggling to bark orders and run at the same time. _Shouldn't a good businessman be able to multitask?_

"Quickly," Takahashi huffed, "before those damn ninjas catch up! Get me safe!" At first Udon worried that Fumi or Kazuo had gone too far in their herding of Takahashi, but then he remembered and trusted in the missions they had all experienced and survived together. No, they would not fail here, when a mistake could cost Konoha more and more. It was more likely the pig-figured businessman was just naturally pushy.

The bandits grumbled but obeyed the order, not used to being treated as such but paid too well to complain. They continued their slow jog, exiting the main gate and almost arriving upon the area Udon had booby-trapped.

_Almost_, he urged, _just a little bit farther_.

(POV Change)

_Damn, that's the last time I eat that much_, Kazaki Mai grumbled. _And why did those _ninjas, he spat at the word_, have to choose such an inopportune moment to attack?_ There was no way he could enjoy his boar-on-a-spit while actively exercising.

Kazaki Mai, the leader of the bandits, repressed a grimace. He let out a belch as he jogged along Takahashi, and then pat his stomach worriedly. If this kept up, he would have to find a spot to puke. Looking up, he thought he saw a dull glint on the ground a dozen yards in front of him. His brow furrowed in confusion.

It couldn't be a trap… could it? None of the lookouts had reported anything except the attack by the two ninjas who were still fighting in the base behind him. Stopping for a moment he glanced to his charge, whose head was looking like a red balloon more and more.

"Why'd you stop?" Takahashi demanded. "My safe house is that way!" He pointed a pudgy finger towards a location past the ground where Kazaki saw the dull glint. "Quickly, before those damn ninjas catch up! Get me safe!" Anxious to get away, he started running to where he pointed, all of his makeshift army following except Kazaki, who was slowly connecting the dots. His eyes widened.

"Wait," he screamed, "it's a-," he never got to finish his sentence.

(POV Change)

Right as Takahashi's private army entered the area he had cleared out earlier, Udon cut a small wire with a kunai. A large river of oil, murky and slimy, shot up into the air and thoroughly drenched the bandits. Shortly after, as they slipped and slid on the ground, Udon cut a second wire. This triggered a small catapult to launch small pieces of flint into the air, each directly heading towards a small rock strategically placed at a corner of the oil field.

Everything happened in slow motion: The flint turning end over end, Kazaki's mouth open in horrific realization, Takahashi frantically crawling through the field towards the woods. Then all hell broke loose.

The flints impacted, and with a spark the field was engulfed in flames. Human outlines were visible in the flames, flailing and screaming, struggling in vain to put out the fires. Udon observed silently, watching as Takahashi was first lit and then slowly burnt away, his flesh turning to ash in front of his eyes. This screaming and begging from the bandits went on until, one by one; they died, collapsing onto the ground in a smoldering heap.

_That'll teach them to betray Konoha_.

As he watched, he felt Fumi and Kazuo appear behind him in a blur of speed, already finished with their objectives. Their weapons dripped red, and shone brightly in the glint from the flames. Kazuo had already sat down on the branch, taking a cloth from his equipment to begin methodically wiping his two katanas. He chewed on a toothpick silently.

Fumi seemed to be the only one affected by the outcome of this mission. She shook her head slowly, dark bags had formed under her eyes from the preparation both mentally and tactically needed for this mission.

Udon continued staring at the flames, seemingly lost in thought. Shadows danced on his face from the flickering light, distorting his mouth and face impishly. He smiled, looking like a crazed arsonist enjoying his art. Breathing deeply, he turned, heading back to Konoha.

Kazuo turned to follow, then slowly put his hand on Fumi's shoulder before following. Seeming to draw strength from this, she followed her teammates.

Author's Note: Well, what did you guys think? It is okay for you guys to read and not review (I know I do it all the time), but it is always a pleasure to get some **constructive **criticism. Until next chapter.


	2. Home, Sweet Home

Hello again guys! Your favorite colored man is back with another chapter! Sorry if it is a day late or so, I had to wait for my sister to beta it for me. I know last chapter I said I wouldn't mind no reviews... but when no one said _anything _I felt like no one was reading this. So, even if it is just to say hi, I'd appreciate any and all reviews.

Well, here's the next chapter of Unwrapping Udon, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Naruto and all of its original characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I only own the original characters I use in this story.

Character talking: "What?"

Character thinking: _What?_

Flash back: * Flashback/ End Flashback

POV changes will be shown by ***** from now on.

**Unwrapping Udon**

Chapter 2: Home, Sweet Home

Udon and his squad arrived at their home village Konohagakure (the village hidden in the leaves) with two days to spare. The birds were chirping, the sun shining, and Udon was satisfied with how their mission went. He chuckled darkly to himself.

_Just like beef barbeque_.

Unpleasantly stomaching his disturbing form of self-amusement, Fumi nervously scratched the nails of her ring and thumb fingers together. Damn it all, why couldn't she have a normal team; one professional, but containing silent distaste for their trade? Whenever she got together with her old graduating class from the Ninja Academy, they always spoke heartily of how their squads braved the ugly shinobi world together. Engaging foreign shinobi in border disputes, providing backup for undercover ANBU rescue missions, escorting important merchants to and from their home villages; it all sounds so awesome, patriotic, and perfect. But no, their team has to be labeled an exclusive assassination combat squad after one lousy mistake, that wasn't even their fault! All she wanted was a normal team, with normal teamwork, and a less than sociopath execution of the mission.

She glanced up, watching the back of Udon's green chuunin vest with unease. No, Udon was anything but normal…

* (Flashback)

_Udon was half-turned to Kazuo and Fumi, so when they landed on a branch behind them his face was visible. It didn't seem like he was smiling as much as stretching his lips to spread eerily across his face. The brown hair that normally hung limp was whipping from side to side, tossed about by the residual force of the explosion. His eyes were dancing in a euphoric mirth, thoroughly enjoying the suffering he was causing._

* (End Flashback)

As they came up on one of the main gates, the chuunin on guard duty noticed them.

"Halt!" he called. "Papers and identification!" His face was stern and authoritative as he barked the phrase. It was not a question. In the shadows behind him one could briefly grasp the presence of an ANBU Black Ops squad flickering in the background, a dark flame ready to snuff out potential threats.

The nameless chuunin thoroughly shuffled through the papers Udon handed him while Kazuo and Fumi looked on. He checked for the location of their mission, what gate they were required to use on return, the allotted time they were given to complete their mission, making sure everything looked standard and they were not enemies in disguise. As he came upon the time allotment, he raised an eyebrow. They weren't due back for another two days… Glancing at Udon in recognition, he grunted and neatly straightened the papers. Satisfied he had checked for any source of deception, he handed them back.

"Welcome back, chuunin squad four. The Hokage expects a full debriefing immediately."

"Of course," Udon replied. "Let's go, guys," he motioned to his teammates, "we don't want to keep _Hokage-sama_ waiting."

They walked through he doors of the Hokage tower, beginning the tedious trek up the stairs to the top, where the Hokage's (the 5th Hokage is also known as the Godaime) office resides. As a security precaution, shinobi were forbidden from using Shunshin, the common short distance teleportation technique, inside the tower. ANBU squads were stationed on every floor to detain, if it was an ally, and eliminate, if they were enemies, anyone using it. It would not do for anyone with hostile intent to be moving about freely and quickly in the offices of the village's leaders.

The steps seemed never-ending, but they trudged on redundantly. None of them spoke a word, content to make the trip in silence, but Fumi's head whirled with thought. What if the Hokage had finally discovered Udon's true personality? Maybe Hokage-sama would gift them with a replacement? Her team would finally be normal, just like all her friends! She sighed dreamily, swept up in the fantasy, before she abruptly bumped into Udon, who had been walking in front of her.

"We're here," he observed, seemingly unconcerned with Fumi's lack of awareness. He opened the staircase door, and they entered a medium-sized room with a dozen chairs and a simple desk. The squad walked up to the short desk, where an old, grey-haired secretary with her hair in a bun glared at them sternly.

"Appointment?" she rasped.

"Chuunin squad four to see _Hokage-sama_," Kazuo returned, used to the semi-hostile environment. They waited a moment for the woman to confirm, and when she waved them through they entered the office. It was larger than the one they just exited, although it kept the round design. This, Udon thought, was supposed to give the impression of a bigger space, and thus the unlimited authority of the Hokage position. He snorted.

_Preposterous. No one has that much power_.

From the office in the center of the village they could see the whole village spread out around them. Shops and businesses, blacksmith vendors and armories, even the Hokage mountain with the intricately carved faces of each Hokage was in view. They were distracted from the view by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," the Godaime, Senju Tsunade said.

"Of course not, Hokage-sama," Udon began, "maybe we-"

"Attention, chuunin!" she barked. All three chuunin slipped stood at attention, with their hands behind their back. "I do not waste my time with frivolity during mission debriefings." She seemed to cut right through them with her stern stare, before she settled her on Fumi. "Chuunin, report!"

"Yes, Hokage-sama!" Fumi proceeded to describe the mission and its encounters, including Kazuo and Fumi's job of distracting the majority of their defenses while Udon laid his trap. When describing Udon's trap, Fumi briefly glanced at Udon, before returning to the Hokage. "And then we arrived at the main gates, Hokage-sama." She took the mission scroll from Udon before handing it to Tsunade.

The Godaime took the scroll and scanned the contents briefly before placing it into a stack on her desk. "That is it for now. All of you are dismissed," she began writing on a piece of paper, "except Saito."

As Fumi and Udon filed out the door, Kazuo kept standing at attention. When she was sure both were gone, the Hokage stopped writing and looked up. The almost unexpressive, bored expression on Kazuo's face turned steely, an intelligent glint in his eye.

"Anything to report on the possible traitorous Watanabe Udon?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kazuo began, "I believe I have something." He handed her a separate scroll, which was outlined in red.

So? How'd you guys like it? Was it horrible, awesome, did it make your stomach churn? I want to know. ^_^ Until next time.


	3. Bored

Hello all, this is Orangeman again and I'm back with your weekly update. Sorry that it is a day late, I was sick yesterday and couldn't finish it up on time. I hope everyone who is reading this enjoys it, but I'd appreciate some reviews.

Ok, there are a couple of changes. From now on point of view or scene changes will be denoted by asterisks (**) so just look for those. Well, here's chapter three of _Unwrapping Udon._

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its original characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Unwrapping Udon**

Chapter 3: Bored

Udon lay in bed in his apartment, hands clasped behind his head, with a stare devoid of expression fixed on the ceiling. The room was sparsely decorated in Spartan fashion, with a bed and medium-sized closet the only noticeable furniture in his abode.

Overcome with boredom, he reached underneath the bed with one hand and withdrew a kunai. He casually flicked it into the ceiling, watching as it slowly dropped back down after a couple of seconds. Finding a source of amusement, he continued this pattern until a loud sound echoed from his front door.

_Knock, knock, knock_.

Now who could that be? He knew he hadn't invited anyone over… Perhaps it was an estranged rival from the later part of his genin days? Lord only knows how many people he rubbed the wrong way.

He had collected the assortment of kunai within reaching distance before he heard the knocks again, louder this time and accompanied by muffled yelling. With a sigh and a grunt, he heaved himself to a sitting position, before lazily moving towards his front door. As he grew closer, the knocks became louder, and he could make out the familiar sound of a young woman's voice.

_What now?_ he thought. _I just got back from a mission and they're already bothering me_. _Next they'll be gathering all my extended family for an intervention. Well let's get it over with._ He grasped the doorknob, and slowly turned. As the door opened and slowly let in the daylight, the person was revealed to be-

Kiyo Moegi huffed, blowing her bangs up in annoyance.

_Stupid Udon_.

Why couldn't he just say hello, like all her other friends after a mission? No, she has to trudge out to his apartment, talk to the chuunin on guard duty, and then search each nook and cranny that he's known to hang around before finding him. Did he _want_ to remain alone? She knew he was a bit of a loner, but it always seemed like he went to great lengths to distance himself from their old team with Ebisu-sensei.

It seemed like ever since their former teammate Konohamaru had been promoted to special jounin, along with their idols Naruto, Sakura, and the rest of the Rookie 9, Udon had been drifting away from them.

That reminded her, she was going to visit Udon and see how he's doing. Maybe even get him to have dinner with Konohamaru and their sensei, Ebisu. How nice it would be to have the whole team back together again! She knocked on Udon's apartment door, anxious to enact her plan.

"Hello? Udon. I know you're in there. I'm friends with the chuunin on guard duty who checked your papers! Come one out, I just want to talk to you!" She stopped, her face was red from effort.

She knocked again, and then yelled. Then knocked again. Finally, she heard the shuffle of feet as they made their way to the door.

Udon flung the door open. "What?" he yelled. He wasn't tired from the mission, but wanted to give that impression. His hair was disheveled, and he still had most of his lightweight equipment on. That was without mentioning the stink. The last time he had bathed had been before the previous four-day mission….. Ack, he almost made himself gag.

Moegi grimaced in distaste. "Um, Udon? How long has it been since you cleaned yourself up?"

Udon shrugged. "A while, why?" He stared at her sternly, daring her to say something about his appearance. Frankly, he didn't care. Why should he?

She covered her mouth with a hand. "Well," she began, "I was wondering if you'd join a couple of friends and I for dinner tonight. We're having Korean barbeque!"

She kept on babbling, but Udon was ignoring it for the most part. Truth be told, he was a little excited. Moegi had rarely invited him out to eat with her friends. Maybe she was signaling her interest in him? He did have a crush on her when they were genin with Ebisu; maybe he'd give her another try. Udon tuned back into Moegi's babble.

"-and I know we'd all have such a great time. Even Konohamaru will be there!"

Udon froze. _Konohamaru? That bastard, I'd never eat with him in a million years_.

"So, what will it be? Will you come?" Moegi looked up at him, her gaze upwards because Udon was a couple steps higher on the steps in front of his apartment.

"Moegi, I-," he was interrupted by the poof of an ANBU messenger's shunshin. Before he could continue, the messenger relayed his message.

"Chuunin Watanabe Udon, you are hereby ordered to report to Hokage-sama for a mission briefing. Your presence is required." The messenger's tone was strict and to the point, betraying no emotion.

Udon sighed. "Alright, ANBU-san, I'll be right there. Moegi, I can't-"

"You are required _now_, Watanabe-san. Immediately." Annoyance had crept into the operative's tone. He gripped Udon's arm tightly before they vanished in a shunshin, with only the telltale small tornado of leaves giving their presence away.

When Udon arrived with the ANBU member in the Hokage's office, Fumi and Kazuo were already there. Before he could even ask why they were here, the Godaime took out a large mission scroll and began briefing them. He let it wash over him, concentrating on how he was going to turn myriad of weapons and tools into a symphony of death.

_A mission?_ Udon thought. His heartbeat already began to quicken, anticipating an assortment of joy: carnage, destruction, the warm blood of the enemy running down your hands as their surprised expression was seared into your mine, like the apples in a hot apple pie.

"Chuunin! Chuunin Watanabe Udon! Are you fully aware of what this mission entails and able to perform all duties described?" The Hokage held out the mission scroll to him, mistaking his extreme focus on death and killing for attention to the mission briefing.

Udon slowly proffered his hand, accepting the scroll in his palm, before turning. He was the first of his team to reach the door, so as he turned the knobs, his lips stretched outward and upwards in a psychotic smile, betraying what seemed to be sociopathic joy for a small moment.

So, what did you guys think? Was it good? Bad? Would you give it a thumbs up or a thumbs down? Why? I'm always interested in what you guys have to say. Until next week.


	4. The Nosepicker Versus The Red Maelstrom

Hello all! I enthusiastically welcome you to the fourth chapter of Unwrapping Udon! Yay! May I get some figurative applause? Thank you, thank you. I know there aren't a lot of people reading this, and I think I'm finally fine with that, and I think it will show with a few changes I have made to what each character will be like. Can you spot them? If you do and point them out in a review I'll give you a cookie.

"Hey." Character speaking.

_Hey._ Character thinking.

** Point of view shift.

**Unwrapping Udon**

Chapter 4: Nosepicker Versus the Red Maelstrom

In the early morning, enveloped in a light haze of mist, chuunin squad four waited for permission from the gate to make way for their mission: an assassination of a jounin leading the Iwa outpost bordering Konoha's ally Kusa (Grass). It was an unusual assignment, and both of Udon's teammates wondered why their team had been chosen.

Kazuo was especially worried. _Hokage-sama didn't tell me anything about this_. His eyes narrowed in the direction of Udon, although he maintained his outward composure. _Could he have something to do with this?_

Udon stretched silently, the seemingly psychotic sneer from the mission briefing still adhered to his face.

Fumi, on the other hand, was practically bouncing off the walls. She hadn't stopped jumping since she arrived shortly after Kazuo, and it was grating on his nerves.

_Calm down, ya damn rabbit!_ Kazuo inwardly screamed. It wasn't like it was her first mission! _Rookies…_

As if she was leaping to disobey, she started to tap her steel knuckles together, creating a sharp metallic ring with each. _Tap… tap tap_.

_Tap tap TAP…. _

_Tap TAP… tap tap… TAP._

He took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself, before going over the mission internally.

Sure, it had the usual requirement of assassination, but it seemed like there was something more to it. Why else would they still be waiting for permission to leave? With the few missions they'd had as a squad previously the green light was given almost immediately upon their arrival. For this one they were running what? Thirty, maybe forty minutes behind? He glanced at his watch.

Right as Fumi began another series of annoying rituals, the chuunin guard who inspected them on their last mission return exited the guardhouse. His face was stern as he walked, a typical observation of the shinobi and civilians alike who frequented the gate. In his hand he carried a small scroll, not unlike the mission scroll Udon carried in his side pouch. When he reached them, and Fumi had stopped bouncing, he tossed it to Udon, whose sneer had been replaced by a look of confusion.

The nameless chuunin briefly glanced up at them before explaining. "Godaime-sama has ordered for all chuunin and jounin squads to begin working in pairs, in order to more effectively build skill and morale amongst the ranks. From henceforth, you are ordered to work with Jounin squad seven!"

From behind Udon, who had been the farthest from the gate, came three figures. As the mist cleared, squad four could make out the appearances of what had developed into iconic legends of Konoha's fighting forces.

The first was Uzumaki Naruto, or the Red Maelstrom as he is known in some circles. He had grown from that stupid, obnoxious boy he once was, into a bigger but still obnoxious young man. Dressed in a maroon, almost blood-colored version of the standard chuunin vest, with a black long-sleeve shirt underneath, he made an imposing figure. His canines were slightly elongated, and inspired intimidation passively. Red Maelstrom was given to him when he demolished a group of enemy jounin from Kumogakure with a technique that only left them as a bloody spiral on the ground. Kazuo gulped. Fumi gaped. Udon sneered.

Next was Haruno Sakura, or the Angel of Death. To her allies, she was a godsend; with her ingenius expansions upon many of the Hokage's medical techniques she has saved countless lives. For enemies she seemed death incarnate; her mastery of medicine proved to double as an aptitude for using poison. A simple exhalation of her breath in the ear could send a shinobi into a convulsive fit, a flash of her bright pink locks the last thing they see. Truly an inspiration for the female warrior. She was dressed in a dull beige button down shirt and skirt, her hair held back by a bandana to conceal its brilliant luster.

Last, and if not least then maybe equally, came Sai. Unlike his teammates, he was simply known as ink. Ink of Infinite! Ink of Malevolence! An iniquity enshrouded in- er, nevermind, just plain Ink. Some enemies have laughed, but not for long as they screams were drowned in a wave of black. He was enshrouded in a custom version of Konoha's ANBU attack gear, with a black, sleeveless bodysuit covering his torso and legs. Two arm guards, dark as midnight, with red rune-like carvings in them covered his forearms. His chest was protected by a single large piece of chest armor, with smaller guards for his legs and shins. Both had the same design and coloring. The smile on his face seemed forced, like he had never really learned how. Udon seemed intrigued.

Naruto stepped forward, eager to begin their journey. "Well, shall we begin?" He gestured his hands towards the gate with his torso bent, imitating a butler. Fumi's eyes glowed with adoration. Udon appeared increasingly irritated with every moment he had to look at Naruto.

_Dumbass_, Udon thought. _Always the showoff_. Noticing Fumi's adoration, he spat at the ground. Fumi jumped back, grossed out.

Naruto frowned, "That's no way to treat a lady." He stepped up to Udon, trying to intimidate him with his height.

Udon didn't back down, and simply stared up at Naruto, arms crossed.

"What's your name, anyway?" It was hard to tell if Naruto was surprised or impressed by Udon's tenacity.

Kazuo fidgeted nervously.

"My name?" Udon drawled, taking his time. He picked his ear, and then looked at it before back up at Naruto. "It's Watanabe. Watanabe Udon."

So? What did you guys think? Did you like how Udon handled Naruto? Or do you dislike this Naruto? Tell me what you think by clicking the review button down below! Until next time! ^_^


	5. Drugs, Secret Missions, and Loudmouths

Hey, hey hey! Welcome, readers to the fifth installment of **Unwrapping Udon**. It has been a tumultuous journey, but thanks to a few reviews I have been revitalized with inspiration! Thank you so much for continuing to read, and without further ado I present chapter 5.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters; they belong to Kishimoto. However, I do own my original characters and would not appreciate anyone ripping them off. Thank you.

**Unwrapping Udon**

Chapter 5: Drugs, Secret Missions, and Loudmouths

By the time the Konoha teams began to move, it was already almost noon. After the morning's tense encounter, both jounin squad 7 and Udon's chuunin squad decided that a little space was needed, especially with Udon's intense dislike towards Naruto. Naruto and Sai were leading the group with Sakura slightly behind them, talking to Fumi and Kazuo as they leapt from tree to tree.

Aggravated, Udon trailed behind Fumi and Kazuo, still inwardly seething that the Godaime would have put his team with Naruto's of _all_ the jounin teams, when she _knew_ how he felt about them. He had done so many things for her… and this is how she treated him! Respecting the unofficial "truce" Naruto and he seemed to have reached he isolated himself in the rear of the group.

Fumi, on the other hand, seemed almost bubbly in the presence of an accomplished kunoichi, and was constantly chattering to the woman. How they had so much to talk about, Udon would never know, but he _did_ know that he no longer heard the _tap tapping_ of her steel knuckles together. He might not show the outward ticks Kazuo did, but the absence of metallic noise was a cool ocean breeze to his senses, soothing and calming. Ah, it was so placating to know-

_Click, click._ The ocean breeze morphed into an angry typhoon, and Udon's brows furrowed.

"Who the hell-," he began, voice rising.

_Click, click... click click CLICK._ Looking ahead, he located the source. Naruto fingered one of his kunai absently, letting it dance over his knuckles before swinging back into his palm against another kunai with a distinct ring.

_Of course those two would have a similar habit. I could say they're almost like brother and sister, but that would be an insult to Fumi._ Amusing himself with this last thought, he trudged on, surrounded by stupidity and its immediate consequences.

Unknown to him, Kazuo was closely watching. His eyes darted between Naruto, Sai, and Udon anxiously before clenching his fist.

It was dark when they made camp that night, dusk's fingers reaching out to lighten the trees for just a few minutes more as they dropped their equipment in a clearing. The campsite was defensible from both sides, with thick trees obscuring the view of potential enemies' right up until they would stumble upon them, at which point it would be too late.

"Yosh! ***(1)** A perfect point of defense should any unforeseen patrols come across us." Although this was apparent to Udon, Naruto felt it was necessary to shout it to the whole group. With a heave he hefted his pack, along with Sakura's whose he had taken it upon himself to carry, on the ground and began sifting through it. He took out a few rolls of ninja wire, along with some explosive tags and poisonous seals, courtesy of Sakura's expertise. The leading jounin took a bow before smiling broadly.

"As your humble elders, our team will take the first watch. Sai! Sakura! You know what to do." The forenamed disappeared into the surrounding brush, soundlessly performing their task.

_Well, as least they seem professional._ Udon pondered. Taking a few flints from his pocket, he amused himself by sparking his flint and stone. Sometimes, when he got extremely bored he would coat his slick glove with a bit of oil, give it a little spark and just let a flame linger there. It was so relaxing; when its dim light sucked out the surrounding air he simply stared. And he stared and stared at it until his gaze became consumed with a hybrid of bored inactivity and intense allure. Pallid hair flickered ominously in front of his forehead, enhancing the relaxing, almost Zen-like feeling. Udon chuckled. How this simple burning up of oxygen could be so fascinating perplexed him. His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a tap on the head from Naruto, who was quickly getting on his nerves.

"Hey you! Udon… was it?" He rubbed his chin in thought, and then pounded his fist into his palm, exclaiming, "Yes. I remember now, you and lil' Konohamaru were friends, weren't you? Some of my biggest fans, if I remember right." Taking a moment to let this process, he then sat down with his chin leaning on the arm resting on his right knee.

Udon's irritation bloomed. "Shouldn't you be helping your teammates? I mean with a team as legendary as yours, _sempai __*****_**(2)**_,_" the respect was almost opaque; "surely your traps would be so much more effective with your hand behind it."

Naruto's obliviousness of social behavior remained the same, and he either felt Udon was genuine or hid his true feelings. He dismissed Udon's question with a small wave, "Don't worry about them. We've been doing this for years and nothing short of an all-out attack by Atatsuki ***(3)** could break through those babies."

Then with the swiftness of a jackrabbit, he switched topics. "I heard that my favorite Nara took you on as a sort of semi-apprentice! How's the old pineapple doing?" Finishing with a rub of the nose and a snort, he waited for a reply.

By now, Udon was beyond irritated. First, this cretin offends his team by not allowing them to set the perimeter's defenses, something _any_ chuunin squad is able to do, then Naruto presumes to label Udon as his fan, nauseatingly, and finally insults the one person in Konoha's shinobi ***(4)** force who held Udon's utmost admiration and respect. He decided to do something that he knew would drive someone of Naruto's hyperactivity and necessity for acknowledgment crazy: he ignored the jounin.

In order to make this small revenge complete, he used Shikamaru-sensei's ***(5)** method of meditation to zone out, and ignored any possible response he knew the fair-haired ninja would attempt.

Ito Fumi was excited. No, she was beyond that. She had reached a whole new level, one she had only dreamed about when she was a fresh kunoichi ***(6)** out of the academy and thought of marrying powerful and charming shinobi from one of the clans. Why this sudden rush of energy? Well, it just happened that her team was assigned to work with one of the most _legendary_ teams Konoha had! Jounin squad seven was renowned in the Hi no Kuni ***(7)** for their superb combat ability, and she, mere chuunin Ito Fumi, had the opportunity to work with them! She would not let this chance go to waste, especially with Sakura-sama ***(8)** so close.

Adjusting her _beige_ bandana, which hid only dark brown locks, she proceeded to make contact with Sakura at the first opportunity she had. When they began their trek in the morning she immediately approached the older woman, increasing her pace so that she was jumping alongside her.

"Sakura-sempai?" She began tentatively. "Would you mind if I asked you a question?"

Sakura seemed surprised, but gave a small, patient smile. "Sure, Fumi-chan ***(9).** Is there something particular you wanted?"

In Fumi's eyes she radiated peace, serenity, and patience. "How did you become so awesome? I mean you must be only a few years older than me yet you're already so skilled." She looked up at the pink-haired woman with stars in her eyes.

"Well," Sakura began, "I did not become 'awesome,' as you put it Fumi-chan, without years of hard work and dedication." She held her right hand behind her while gesturing with her left, as if lecturing to a genin ***(10)** fresh out of the academy.

"True, I did have help in the form of both Hokage-sama and Shizune-sempai apprenticing me, but they did not make the work I needed to do easier; they only pointed me in the right direction. As shinobi, we each must dedicate large portions of our time to training ourselves, both mentally and physically." The older kunoichi took this pause to gauge if her words were having any impact on Fumi.

When Sakura turned to look, she almost stumbled in jumping to the next tree. Fumi was still keeping her pace with Sakura, but had whipped out a large notebook sometime earlier and was now scribbling furiously. The chuunin, noticing Sakura had stopped talking, looked up at her inquisitively.

"What is the matter, Sakura-sempai?" Her brow furrowed in worry, and she looked around in consternation in an attempt to locate the source of her idol's anxiety.

Sakura quickly placated her, "Ah- Nothing, Fumi-chan, nothing. Just thinking, is all."

"Oh, alright." Fumi calmed and turned back to her notes, waiting for the jounin to continue.

"As I was saying, hard work and dedication…" The lecture continued, although it was lacking in the fervor it had before, with Sakura's eyes darting every once in a while to check if Fumi was still scribbling. Which of course, she was.

There were only three people who were relatively quiet during the trip to their current campsite: Udon, Sai, and Kazuo.

Udon in general was for the most part silent, unless he was issuing orders, which were few in number with a higher-ranking jounin squad with them. He made the trek in silence behind Sai, peeved he was even in Naruto's cumbersome presence. One thing he was worried about a bit more than Naruto, however, was Fumi. He'd taken it upon himself to watch her closely, what with her predisposition to practically worship any accomplished kunoichi they came across. Quite frankly, it bothered him. Why would someone put themselves in a place of servitude to another person? She could deny it all she wanted, but that is what it was. It would be another thing if she simply asked for tips, but she wrote _everything_ down. Every speech, sentence, or uttered complaint was copied word for word into that journal of hers, which was quickly becoming a manifesto of Konoha kunoichi. Udon sighed, and could only use one word to describe her, a word he was frequently using (inspired by a sensei of his) for the women in or around his life: troublesome.

Why was Sai silent? Well, Sai was…. Sai. Anything he did not need to say in order to annoy and or provoke Naruto or Sakura was left unsaid. His mask of impassivity was always kept firmly in place, even when offending his fellow jounin. He was curious, however, on why this chuunin Udon had such natural vehemence toward his teammate. Sai had only known Naruto to inspire feelings of kinship or admiration in the people he met, and so it came as a small surprise to observe a reaction not of that character. In time, hopefully this interesting drama would unfold, and reveal bits he could later use with Naruto. For now, he kept leaping from tree to tree.

As for Kazuo, well he was becoming paranoid, to say the least. Originally he had felt secure in his situation. No one knew about his chakra refrain, a device which stimulated a shinobi's elemental chakra with a pleasant, addicting sensation, and he had even been employed by the Hokage herself to investigate Udon, of all people, for smuggling the same said device. When she first came to him about it, he thought it was a strange prank gone wrong. Who would, if they actually knew him, suspect that kid of doing such a thing? Well maybe that in itself was the problem. Not many people knew the kid. When he started "investigating" he learned there were a handful of people who even associated with him outside a professional basis. It was laughable, but Kazuo, with his false persona created to hide what he was addicted to and who it was coming from, was less suspicious than Udon.

The paranoia had only kicked in with this latest mission. Hokage-sama blindsiding him about pairing his team with three _jounin_ was something that frayed his nerves as easily as a dork in a schoolyard would get tossed around. But that was magnified when, as he was unpacking at the camp, he saw Fumi get a peek at his chakra refrain. He froze, thinking she was going to call him out then and there, but she only adorned a look of confusion.

Resuming his unpacking, he was going to leave it alone. After all, what would an airhead like Fumi know about the latest advance in narcotics? But then a terrible thought hit him: what if she asked _Sakura_ about it….? His blood went cold.

_Well, I was hoping to put off my defection for a couple months more, but now is as good a time as any. _He stared at Fumi, and when she made eye-contact he smiled._ Just have to tie up my one loose end._

"Hey Fumi, could you help me get some firewood?" He asked, standing up to do so.

"Sure, Kazuo-sempai," she returned without batting an eyelash. Failing to catch the dark glint in his eye, she followed him.

Definitions/Explanations:

Note, not all of my definitions are spot on, as they are just paraphrasing the meanings I have learned to place with these words.

**(1)** – _Yosh_ means "alright" or "let's go."

**(2)** – _Sempai_ is a term used for someone who is your elder or above you in your field.

**(3)** – _Atatsuki_ "Literally meaning 'Dawn' or 'Daybreak') is a criminal organization of S-Class missing-nin and is the most wanted group in all of the shinobi world. Their main goal is to collect all of the [tailed beasts/bijuu, essentially demons,] for their plan of world domination" (.com/wiki/Akatsuki).

**(4)** – _Shinobi_ is a ninja warrior(s)

**(5)** – _Sensei_ is a term for a teacher or elder who can or is teaching you something, sometimes interchangeable with _sempai._

**(6)** – _Kunoichi _is a female shinobi

**(7)** – Hi no Kuni = Land of fire

**(8)** – The suffix _–sama_ is used for something worthy of a high level of respect

**(9)** – The suffix _–chan_ is used for females, usually by someone who is older or feels especially close to them.

**(10)** – Genin is the lowest rank of shinobi. You become one when you graduate the Shinobi Academy.

Author's Note: So? What did you think? Did you like it? Where do you guys want or think it will go? Tell me all in the reviews.


	6. The Female Form and Nosebleeds

**Can you smeeeeeeeelllll what the Orangeman is cooking? That's right, it's the beautiful scent of a new chapter!**

***Flexes arms* Woot! I know it has been so very long, but please sit back and enjoy. I am truly sorry for the delay. I do not really have an excuse, all I can really say is that the flow of my writing mojo seemed to have halted as I got exceptionally busy with school, work, and a bit of some other stuff I won't bore you with.**

**Without ado, here is Unwrapping Udon chapter 6!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto world or any of the characters created by Kishimoto. I do, however, own my original characters... so keep your grubby hands off them! Unless you have my permission, of course.**

Talking: "Hey, did you just pick your nose, Naruto?"

Thinking: _Of course not._

* * : Point of view shift**.  
**

**Unwrapping Udon**

**Chapter 6: The Female Form and Nosebleeds  
**

"Hey Fumi, could you help me get some firewood?" He asked, standing up to do so.

"Sure, Kazuo-sempai," she returned without batting an eyelash.

Failing to catch the glint in his eye, she followed him. They walked off into the woods, the faint twitter of crickets accompanying them.

The twilight enshrouded both figures, their forms broken down to vague shadows. One of the shadows slipped something from their pocket. There was no longer the dim glow of the fire's embers to light them, and Fumi frowned. She continued on the task, but did not notice Kazuo disappearing behind a nearby tree.

_Hopefully this won't take too long._ But she smiled softly to herself as another thought came to her. _Kazuo-sempai is always so thoughtful,_ she mused. Maybe she was luckier than she thought. For the last day, at least, Udon seemed to have calmed down (not displaying as many frightful acts) and their team had finally been enlisted on a higher rank mission with elite shinobi, such as Sakura-sama! She sighed contentedly, and the stars themselves seemed to be aligning with her vision of the team in a state of perfection. Fumi thought maybe, just maybe, their team would end up normal after all, and continued picking up small sticks and bramble for the fire.

The smile was still floating on her face as a gloved hand was forced over her mouth. Her eyes widened and she tried to defend with taijutsu, aiming behind her to impede him, but her attacker's arms were firm. Just as black spots crept up into her vision she managed one lucky hit to their midsection.

A deep grunt echoed, and she was finally able to pull herself away. Her breathing was labored, and she brought a finger to her lips. It came away slightly purple, a poison of some sort, but before she could identify it she had to dodge a series of quick thrusts from a kunai. She did fine on the first couple, dodging under their lunge with the right hand and rolling away from the following jab, but the next proved too much for her assaulted, half-drugged body. As she made to sidestep, the black spots came back, and she was unable to avoid the fist that came at her.

Fumi tried to call out, knowing help could be just a few minutes away, but her mouth was not working. Neither that, nor most of her facial muscles.

A sickening crunch reverberated, much louder than the previous echo, and Fumi felt the air in her lungs abandon her. She fell almost lifelessly to the floor, tears springing out from the pain. The spots intensified, and the last thing she saw was a pair of standard chuunin issued combat boots sticking out perpendicular from the ground.

Udon watched Kazuo and Fumi leave the camp. He blinked, then shrugged. _Hmm, well it's not like that's the first time that's happened. _Glancing to Sakura, who had a look of concern on her face, he decided to see if he could not make this mission a little more… exciting. Thinking it over, he thought, _Well, Fumi did have it coming, what with all those weird looks she's been giving me lately. And Kazuo, well he probably wouldn't care either way._ He stood up and walked over to where Sakura was sitting by her equipment, checking each one over.

"Eh, Sakura-sempai, was it?" He inquired politely, wanting to start off on a welcome note.

"Yes?" She seemed unaware of Udon's intentions.

"I don't see Fumi-chan or Kazuo-sempai around anywhere. Do you happen to know where they went off to?" He coughed into his hand, trying to maintain a straight face.

"I believe I heard Saito-san ask Fumi-chan to accompany him to retrieve some more firewood." She paused for a moment, and then looked at Udon suspiciously. "Why?"

"Hmm," he had one hand covering his mouth, a look of shock adorning his face, "I'm not sure if I should tell you." Sakura stood up and crossed her arms, getting up in Udon's face.

"Udon-san, I must warn you what would happen if anything were to happen to any of your squadmates on this mission and you had prior knowledge?"

"Maa, maa," he made a placating gesture with his hands, "no need to start a fire. I was just wondering why Kazuo would need two people to get firewood, when we have so much already," he motioned to a foot-high stack of wood. "Makes you think something suspicious is going on, neh?" Udon waggled his eyebrows.

Sakura sighed, rubbing her temples. "I don't think Fumi-chan is _that_ naïve, even if she is a little… passionate to learn about successful kunoichi." She returned to checking over her equipment, taking various instruments and dipping them in a jar of alcohol.

"Oh I know she isn't. In fact, she's had the hots for Kazuo-sempai for a couple months now." A small smirk crept onto Udon's face.

"What? Shit!" Sakura dropped a pair of tweezers into the jar as she realized what Udon was implying. She stood back up, "But that's -! They would never do _it_ on a mission…," concern was creeping into her voice, "would they?"

Udon shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. I tried avoiding this kind of thing in the past, but what if Fumi doesn't care anymore?" He faked a gasp of realization, baiting Sakura in.

"… What?"

Udon bit his lip, acting conflicted.

"Just tell me!"

"Well, she has been spending an enormous amount of time researching older, more accomplished kunoichi recently. Maybe she believes she has to do… _it_ in order to come closer to your level."

"Damn it." Sakura swore and massaged her temples, beating away at the stress attacking her brain. She began packing up her equipment and tools, throwing them next to Naruto's and Sai's gear.

"What are you doing?" Udon was surprised, he expected her to get concerned and frazzled when he implied that she was partly at fault for Fumi wanting to "do it" with Kazuo (pfft, the idea made him laugh; as far as he knew Kazuo had the sex life of a fetus), but he thought she would send Naruto or Sai to do the dirty work of making sure nothing was happening. Speaking of the dolt and doll face, they were just sitting around on the other side of the fire talking. Heh, almost like a couple of gerbils stuffing their faces with shredded paper.

Well, Naruto did have a most satisfyingly irritated look on his face, no doubt due to something Sai said, by the shadow of a smirk at the corner of Sai's mouth. Maybe doll face was not so bad, after all. Anyone who could annoy the crap out of Naruto-_sama_, or the infamous _Red Maelstrom_, was a friend of his.

Before he could muse any longer he was interrupted by Sakura leaping off into the brush, towards the direction they last saw Fumi and Kazuo.

_Hmm, I'm a little bored now that that small bit of drama has been planted._ He chuckled to himself, and began a methodical spark between the flint and stone he hefted in his left hand.

Kazuo was annoyed. He thought it would be easy. Lead Fumi into the forest a bit, throw a hood over his head to hide his identity, cut the bitch's throat and hop away with the chakra refrain hidden securely on his person, but it seemed there were other plans in store for him.

Currently, he was surrounded by three Kumo shinobi. There was huge guy with a neck as thick as a gorilla's bicep, as well as a shaved head. Two katanas hung from a belt on his right hip. Another one, slim and tall with a build similar to Kazuo's, sported short spiky gray hair and a kodachi strapped to his back diagonally. The last, short one had medium-length black hair with his bangs covering his left eye.

All three had their forehead protectors tied firmly around the neck (not a bad idea to avoid stray kunai in the throat), and wore the standard Kumogakure flak jackets over sleeveless vests. A tattoo of the kanji for wraith adorned all three of the trio's right arms.

Normally, this would be a problem, but chakra refrain dealers wouldn't kill both their best Konoha customer and spy. Even now, he could give them valuable information that would be useful for years to come, even if they never sought war with Konoha. But he couldn't just off someone in plain sight of them without explaining why he was doing it.

He grumbled, _They thought it was "bad for business"_.

So here they were. Kazuo, sketchy as hell with his midnight hoody covering his head, forehead protector, and chuunin flak jacket, an unconscious and beaten teenage Kunoichi to the side of him, and three Kumogakure agents (jounin by the look of it) on all three sides.

"Tsk, tsk, Kazuo… Is this what you've taken to doing when not using? I thought you were past abducting girls for entertainment." The big one smirked as he taunted him, a couple of teeth lacking on the sides.

Kazuo sneered. "Haha. You're hilarious. Now, what are we gonna do about her?" He motioned to Fumi's unconscious form.

"I think it's not a question of what are _we_ going to do, but what are _you_ going to do?" The gray-haired one droned. His voice carried boredom and a lack of energy.

"What?" Kazuo snapped, "But I thought we-"

"There is no 'we' until you uphold your end of the deal, and deliver the information you promised Nobu-sama."

"Fine," Kazuo growled. He slung Fumi over his shoulder, and made his way past the Kumo shinobi deeper into the forest. When he was a few yards past the enormous one he paused, noticing a change in his surroundings.

He turned around, and all three of the Kumo shinobi seemed frozen. _Genjutsu?_ His eyes combed the trees. Seeing nothing wrong, he was about to continue when a gloved fist, followed closely by angry, emerald eyes, snapped his head back and sent him flying to the other side of the Kumo shinobi. His impact seemed to awaken them from the illusion, and they assumed fighting stances.

A furious Sakura stood defensively near Fumi, fists raised and eyes smoldering with hatred at the general direction of Kazuo.

"Oho?" The buff one leered. "What do we have here? A bold, and," his gaze absorbed every curve of Sakura's body, "may I say _appealing_ little kunoichi come to play."

Kazuo, with blood leaking from his nose and toothpick broken, looked on in horror.

_ Shit shit shit shit SHIT! What the fuck is _she _doing here _now_?_

**Alright, as I actually had someone subscribe to this story about a month ago (this is genuinely appreciated!) I know there are buggers out there reading this. So if you would be so kind as to submit a review I can almost 100% guarantee chapters will come out faster. You scratch my back_, _I scratch yours, etc. etc. Some questions you can answer?**

_Were you surprised?_

_Where do you think these specific Kumo shinobi will fit in in the future?_

_Did you submit a review?_

_How do you like the story as a whole? If you don't, why do you dislike it and what do _you_ think I could have done better?  
_


	7. Blood, Guts, and Glory?

**Bwahaha! I'm back, son!**

**You thought I was gone for good didn't ya? Done, washed up, finished, caput! Well no longer! I felt the self-compulsion to at least to attempt to finish this story. If you're reading this, then you are most likely both incredibly lucky and surprised. I could bore you with the specifics on why I didn't update until now, but that would waste both your reading time and my writing time.**

**Anyways, thanks to my faithful (and as of now only) reader, cokkiies, whose kind comments through reviews *cough* have inspired me to continue when I honestly thought no one was reading this. Now onto chapter 7:**

* * *

**Unwrapping Udon**

**Chapter 7: Blood, Guts, and... Glory?**

**Last time on Unwrapping Udon:**

A furious Sakura stood defensively near Fumi, fists raised and eyes smoldering with hatred at the general direction of Kazuo.

"Oho?" The buff one leered. "What do we have here? A bold, and," his gaze absorbed every curve of Sakura's body, "may I say _appealing_ little kunoichi come to play."

A small twitch at the corner of Sakura's mouth summed up her reaction.

Kazuo, with blood leaking from his nose and toothpick broken, looked on in horror. There was a brief moment of silence between the five shinobi, save for the rustling of leaves in the background. Sakura's face was blank, and her eyes were locked onto Kazuo. Gone was the kunoichi who was concerned about two people fornicating in the woods. Now, here was the killer.

* * *

"You're dead," she whispered. Her gloved fists clenched at her sides.

_ Shit shit shit shit SHIT! What the fuck is _she _doing here _now_?_ He was hyperventilating now. From his position on the ground he tried scrambling up and away from Sakura and the three shinobi, only to have a beige blur appear in front of him. Her fist was inches from bursting his head like a watermelon when a meaty, lightning covered arm intercepted it, giving Sakura a jolt and making her skid back a few feet.

Before she recovered a kodachi stabbed at her in a flurry of motion, barely waiting for her to evade the metallic lick before it came at her again. The blade hummed from the lightning elemental chakra. She backpedaled and sidestepped, moving away from the attacks clockwise. After she ducked a crackling haymaker, she countered with a light jab to the beefy one's midsection. With a small gasp on his part, this light jab from her made the gargantuan fly back thirty yards. Sakura had no time to rest, as the other two came at her. They traded blows back and forth, disappearing in and out of Kazuo's sight in an almost mesmerizing display of skill and precision. At times, it seemed as if the four were intentionally missing each other.

Kazuo lay on the ground still, mouth bleeding, and noted they were coming his way. He scrambled up just in time as a dragon formed of lightning smashed into the place he had just occupied, the explosion's force throwing him forward in the air. He landed roughly a couple dozen yards away, short trees and shrubs breaking his fall.

Wiping his mouth with his hand, he crawled frantically. After the sounds of fighting had dulled a bit, he looked back. He couldn't even see them. Every once in a while he would hear the telltale explosion in the earth or crackle of a Raiton jutsu, which let him know that anyone who could follow him was occupied. Kazuo smiled, and began to walk away from the battle and opposite of the camp.

_Hah, got away scot free. And the _Hokage_ thought she could pull one over on me._ The lanky young man spat in distaste. He might have panicked a bit, but he knew what she had been trying to do. Assigning a jounin squad to a chuunin squad was unheard of, even for the sake of promoting "teamwork." Besides their one little blip on that undercover job in Kusa, their record was flawless. And he had felt the occasional lingering gaze from Udon, and remembered a couple of times when he had woken up in the morning to find some of his pack's contents shifted a smidge. He snarled, _That fucker thinks he's so good. Just wait._ Clenching his fist, he spat out the remains of his metal toothpick. With a few deep breaths, he began to let go of thoughts on his squadmate.

"Fools." He chuckled to himself, as he rummaged through his pack. Taking out a small syringe he made to inject himself, but a sharp pain in his right arm arrested his motion. It blossomed and grew, traveling up his appendage and forcing the muscles in his fingers, hands, and forearm to cramp up excruciatingly.

"Fuck!" He cursed, almost writhing in on himself. Desperately willing the pain to go away, he gripped his right arm with his left as sweat dripped down his temple. The sensation seized him three more times before the episodes ceased and his tired form sat on the damp grass, panting.

Kazuo rummaged through his pack, taking out the syringe again, "This is why I should have fuckin' done this before we left." He was just about to inject it before a rustle caught his attention. Freezing, he hid the needle behind him.

…

All seemed quiet. There was a faint breeze, along with the occasional rumble. Kazuo craned his senses. Nothing was coming from the battle behind him. No footsteps or quiet slip of a blade from its sheath. His other hand's fingers tightened on one of his katanas' grip. He quickly snatched up two more syringes, and hid them with the first behind him.

There was a flicker of light from the battle every once in a while, illuminating Kazuo's paranoid face. His bandana and wide eyes gave him the appearance of some kind of tunneling creature. The lanky teen's orbs darted back and forth, combing the environment. Finding what he was searching for, he let his body relax, injecting himself with a syringe at the same time.

"What you got there, Kazuo?" a voice drawled from behind him.

Kazuo spun around, katana in left hand, battle ready. Who had managed to follow him past the Kumo shinobi and Sakura without being detected?

A ways back a giant fireball tore into the ground, heaving flaming debris everywhere. The explosion lit up the mysterious shinobi's face, and Kazuo's struggled not to frown.

"Ah, Udon-san," Kazuo smiled, "I thought you might have been one of those Kumo shinobi." He relaxed his guard, but didn't sheath the katana.

"Good thing I'm not, eh?" Udon stepped out from a tree ahead of Kazuo, the distant flicker of flame illuminating his face in sections. There were a couple things a bit different than his normal attire. He was wearing a pair of crimson gloves, their hue barely visible in the current lighting, and he did not have any notable weaponry or sharp objects. Of course this did not mean he wasn't dangerous. Kazuo had fought alongside him plenty of times to know that the pyromaniac had plenty of cards up his sleeve, even without a clever trap to ignite them.

They stared at each other, knowing the charade was over. A minute passed, and then Kazuo smiled. He raised his katana and Udon tensed, expecting an attack. However, Kazuo simply sheathed it, before staring at Udon.

"So," he began, a neutral expression on his face, "what gave me away?" Behind his back he injected himself with the other two vials.

"Well, it wasn't me, actually." Udon shrugged, "To tell you the truth I didn't even suspect you until Hokage-sama asked me to look into it."

Kazuo ground his teeth, before smirking. _Oh well, just one lonely Udon noodle to deal with._

The smirk widened and stretched his face out almost maniacally, a slight twitch of his eyelid adding to the peculiarity, and Udon raised his eyebrow at the seemingly irrational boost of confidence. Kazuo's body began to bulge, and he could feel the extra dose of the refrain stimulating his chakra network, enhancing his muscles' capability at the same time. His veins morphed into a deep red, and rose closer to the surface of his skin. It gave the appearance of a bleeding hobo to Udon, taking into account Kazuo's disheveled hair and bandana after Sakura's assault.

Udon raised his fists and flexed his fingers, seemingly unnerved at the practically instant transformation his opponent was undergoing. And he remained so, even after Kazuo's expansion had caused him to rip through his chuunin vest.

"Hehehe…" Kazuo chuckled to himself, growing in volume to a hyena-like cackle. His form, originally having been taller than Udon by at least a good four inches, now loomed twice that. A fist the color of blood clenched and flexed, testing its strength. The torso was thick, even more grotesque than some civilian body builders he had seen once in a village in Tsuchi no Kuni. Disgusting.

The cackle had grown in volume, and Udon was becoming bored. How long can you laugh, anyway? It would seem like some sort of worldwide feat to keep it up as long as Kazuo had. He sighed, and raised his right hand.

Focusing his elemental chakra, he concentrated. A tiny, triangular seal with the kanji for "boom" glowed on the top of Kazuo's bandana.

The laughter stopped. Kazuo froze, and glanced up at the seal, then to Udon. _He couldn't have…?_

Udon made to snap his fingers, and for Kazuo everything seemed to slow down. He lunged towards the smaller shinobi, desperately attempting to stop Udon from completing his action.

Too late.

Udon snapped his fingers against each other with a tiny spark, and with a roar a deafening explosion echoed, ripping its way into and through the now gargantuan Kazuo's skull.

His corpse stood there, arm still outstretched to impede Udon, before collapsing forward with a fleshy thud.

_Well,_ Udon thought, _that was anticlimactic._

After picking up Kazuo's pack, he turned around and made his way back towards the sounds of battle.

* * *

**So...? Please tell me what you think, ja? It would keep my healthy shade of orange.**


End file.
